You're beautiful
by Morndulin
Summary: James Blunt songfic oneshots. Not too happy, but nether are his songs. Current songs are You're beautiful, Same mistake and Give me some love.
1. Beautiful

**You're Beautiful**

Summary: Post-GLEE. Both Blaine and Kurt have moved to NY after graduating. However... their lives are quite different from each other. Kurt is star on the broadway and Blaine is un-employed and singing in the subway-tunnel.

Pairing: Klaine (obviously)

Rating: K+

Warnings: Hinting to drug-usage, one swearing-word.

* * *

Things hadn't quite worked out the way Blaine Anderson had originally planned. After graduating from Dalton Academy he had moved to New York, wishing to reach for the stars like so many others. However his dreams had been crashed and now he was 25 years, unemployed and slightly addicted to coke. Most of his days he spent singing in the metro-tunnels, playing his old guitar and earning his money for the next meal and smokes. Atleast he still had a place where he could crash (Wes had moved with him and hadn't dared to throw his friend out, yet), his singing voice and dreams.

For something had happened yesterday that had put smile again on the man's lips. He had seen a ghost, no, angel, from the past. He had already heard from Wes that certain contra-tenor had also moved to NY and was now starring the hottest musicals on the Broadway. They had been close friend ages ago, and it could have developed into something deeper if their lives had taken another course. There had been moments when Blaine had thought of buying a ticket to one of his plays, but after looking at his image on the mirror, Blaine had given up the plan.

Black-haired man took out his guitar and stationed himself on the usual spot. He carefully tuned his guitar and started singing. His voice was still beautiful, slightly huskier and lower than when he was the leading star of the Warblers. His once tidy curls had grown out and covered his face, but small smile could be seen forming on his shadowed lips.

_My life is brilliant._

_My life is brilliant._

_My love is pure._

_I saw an angel._

_Of that I'm sure._

_He smiled at me on the subway._

_He was with another man._

_But I won't lose no sleep on that,_

_'Cause I've got a plan._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

_'Cause I'll never be with you._

Kurt had looked so...radiant. He had always carried this certain purity around him, and it clearly hadn't lost the edge over these years. His hair was still perfect as he flicked it from side to another with his glove-covered hand. Man had clearly been flirting with the another male he had been accompanied with, adorable smile forming on his pink lips. Narrow-framed man had actually quickly glanced towards him, but clearly not recognizing him. And no wonder, past years hadn't been too gentle with him, unlike to Kurt.

Blaine had gotten his chance back then, now it was someone else's time. Kurt really deserved all this attention and love in his life. Truth to be told, he had fallen in love with the boy the first moment he saw him smiling nervously on the Dalton Academy's staircase and that love he had cherished ever since. All those gentleman-ish talks about not wanting to ruin their friendship were just a cover to not to show much he actually loved the younger boy.

_Yeah, he caught my eye,_

_As we walked on by._

_He could see from my face that I was,_

_Fucking high, _

_And I don't think that I'll see him again,_

_But we shared a moment that will last till the end._

He had seen Kurt immediatly he had stepped out of the metro. There was just something about the boy that Blaine would never forget. He had just had a smoke and stupid smile was plastered all over his face, and maybe that was the reason Kurt had smiled to him. However that memory would keep him going. It had reminded him of the better days, times when they both had been younger and full of dreams to reach for the stars. And against all the odds, they both had made it to the Big Apple, that had to mean atleast something.

One of them had reached his dreams, become the radiating star and actually, Blaine was happy it was Kurt and not him. He could live the rest of his life like this, but Kurt could never live without his labels and attention. Blaine started the second chorus, with a little more sadness in his voice. He really missed their late night conversations about newest Vogue and musicals.

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

_'Cause I'll never be with you._

Blaine's voice was slightly breaking and he could feel his eyes watering. He was suddenly struck with emotions he had concieled deep within for so long. Seeing Kurt yesterday and now singing a song like this was definitely a bad combination. Someone threw some coins to his guitar-case, reminding him of where he was. There was no use dwelling in the past, good old days wouldn't come back and the quicker he forgot about them, the easier his days would be. Black-haired mand gathered his nerves, calming himself down as he continued.

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_There must be an angel with a smile on her face,_

_When she thought up that I should be with you._

_But it's time to face the truth,_

_I will never be with you._

Blaine ended the song, brushing his curls away from his face. Man sighed, browsing through his pockets for a crumbled cig-package and lighter. Smoking really damaged his voice, but it also made days easier to live through. And it also made him forget all about certain Broadway-angel.

* * *

It came out quite short... but then again, this is my first GLEE-fanfic, hence first Klaine fic also... and I haven't been writing anything for a while now.

I'm thinking of making more of these short Klaine-songfics from James Blunt's songs. (They are awesome, check them out if you haven't!)

Most of them are going to be quite angsty, but somehow I find it easier to write about sad themes.

Sooo...reviews, should I continue making these? (And as for the grammar, I'm not native, so there might be some...mistakes.)


	2. Same mistake

Same mistake

Summary: Set after BIOTA. What if Blaine didn't forgive Kurt and instead found someone new? Kurt's POV. Songfic from James Blunt's Same Mistake.

Rating: K+

Warnings: Angsty Kurt, self-harming, Blaine+OC

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own GLEE. And maybe it's better that way...keeps our life interesting.

* * *

_Saw the world turning in my sheets _

_and once again I cannot sleep._

_Walk out the door and up the street; _

_look at the stars beneath my feet._

_Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go._

_Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go._

_My mind is muddy but _

_my heart is heavy. Does it show?_

_I lose the track that loses me, so here I go._

It had rained again, the streets are wet and glimmering with water. It's the darkest hour of the night, the city is empty and streets hollow. I know I should be in bed, asleep like all the normal people. But I just can't sleep anymore, or should I say, right now. My sheets are wet with sweat and wrinkeled, like for the past week, every night. I keep turning and tossing around, trying to forget everything, but I just can't sleep. Sky is reflected in the small pools of water, for a moment I feel like I'm walking in the sky, amongst the stars.

I should have stayed quiet, I shouldn't have talked like that to him. I really wasn't in the position to call him names and doubt his reasoning. I should have been a friend to him, supported him instead of pouring all my own insecurities to his face like that. I really was one lousy friend. I wanted to go somewhere, maybe to Mercedes, but she was already asleep. Slumbering and dreaming of fashion, men and Gaga knew what. I wasn't even thinking clearly anymore, but I wanted to avoid the main topic the best I could. I didn't want to think about him anymore. His dark eyes, perfect smile and the way his dark curls escaped the tight holds of the hair-gel.

And here I went again, my mind wandering back to Blaine.

After two weeks of sleepless nights and wandering the cold, wet, Autumn-y streets of Lima, I had finally asked for help. I went to Wes and David, not really knowing who to talk to at this point. They were Blaine's best friends, but they also were the closest I could call friends at Dalton. Besides, if they wanted to win Regionals, they needed me. Atleast that's what I was telling myself. I already looked like a walking zombie and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know.

_And so I sent some men to fight, _

_and one came back at dead of night._

_Said he'd seen my enemy. _

_Said he looked just like me,_

_So I set out to cut myself and here I go._

The next night after my small request I finally got a message from Wes. He had followed Blaine to cafe and seen them. Message was short, but it felt like I had been stabbed to the chest with a knife. "I don't know the boy...but he looks just like you."

For a moment I just sat on my bed, reading the message over and over again. I had blown my chances with Blaine. He had some feelings for me and I had blown them. I stood up, walked to my table and shuffled through the drawers. In the furthest corner I felt my hand wrap around something hard and cold. I knew it wasn't wise, I knew I should get over this like I had gotten over mom and Finn... but I was so weak. I had already been stabbed with knife from the inside, so some scars more on my skin wouldn't change anything.

_I'm not calling for a second chance,_

_I'm screaming at the top of my voice._

_Give me reason but don't give me choice._

_'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again._

I feel tears rolling from my eyes, the same way red droplets from the new wounds carved on my hand. Once again I thanked my father for the sound-proof walls of my room. I couldn't even hear my own voice anymore, I just felt the hot tears mixing with my own blood on my hands. My lips were open and I knew I was screaming, but my world was silent. It was cold, hard and silent without Blaine.

I knew I had no guts to ask for forgiveness, I didn't deserve it. Besides, I knew myself, it could happen again. It would happen again. I would hurt him again. I was too twisted to be with him.

_And maybe someday we will meet, _

_and maybe talk and not just speak._

_Don't buy the promises 'cause, _

_there are no promises I keep._

_And my reflection troubles me, so here I go._

We were both Warblers, which meant we would meet eventually. No matter what kind of personal grudges, Regionals were getting closer day by day and we couldn't avoid each other for the rest of our school time. Feelings would calm down, words would become less important. Maybe we could even be friends again, have long conversations of life and death, fame and fortune, but we would never be lovers.

When they had become friends they had made a silent promise of defending each other against the cruelty of the world. And he had broken that promise. He had shattered everything with his selfishness and stupidity and he had no way to defend that.

I took the knife and threw it to the mirror across my bed, shattering it to pieces. I was despicable. I couldn't even look at myself, so why should anyone else look at me?

_I'm not calling for a second chance,_

_I'm screaming at the top of my voice._

_Give me reason but don't give me choice._

_'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again._

Small pieces fell down on the carpet, pieces of the shattered mirror. I'm screaming again in frustration. I wanted him again near me, I wanted to be able to talk to him, to see his smile. I didn't ask forgiveness, I just wanted to erase everything I had said back then. I wanted to turn back the time.

Even if it meant I would end up hurting him yet again. I had the tendency to repeat my errors time after time. My hand was bleeding to my sheets, coloring them red and I didn't even care. It would be just another reminder of my stupidity.

_Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep._

_Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars._

_Look at the stars fall down._

_And wonder where did I go wrong. _

I can't sleep like this. It hurt too much to stay inside. To stay near that phone and that message. I stood up, took my coat and climbed the stairs. It was cold outside and I was already shivering, but I didn't care. I just walked away from the warmth of my home, not really knowing were I was heading. I had no destination anymore, not in my nightly walks or in my life. I had lost my reason to move on, lost my courage.

Above me the stars were clear and black, stars shimmering with their cold, white light. Like me, some of them were fading. I continued walking, my gaze lifted to the skies. There were stars falling down, he had lost count already and they just kept falling. Again I felt water running on my pale cheeks, why did it have to come to this?

* * *

I managed to write another oneshot! And a James Blunt songfic at that.

I'm still not a native, so my grammar might not be perfect. xP

Reviews are supermegafoxyawesome and make me feel like writing more. :D


	3. Give me some love

**Give me some love**

Summary: AU. Songfic for James Blunt's song Give me some love. Kurt finally gets over his love towards Blaine and finds himself a boyfriend. That makes Blaine realize how much he actually had cared for the younger boy. And now he had lost him forever.

Rating: K+

Warnings: Drug-usage, angsty Blaine

Disclaimer: I still don't own GLEE. Nor Blaine, nor Kurt. (and maybe it's a good thing...)

* * *

_Me and my guitar playing my way_

_It makes them frown_

_The little pieces by the highway, bring me down._

_Mine is not a heart of stone_

_I am only skin and bone now_

_Those little pieces are little pieces of my own_

Blaine was sitting on his bed, playing his hand-me down guitar, singing with a low voice. He should be at the Algebra-class, but he just didn't feel like going there. What's the point of studying if you have no goals what-so-ever? His roommates had already told they were worried about him... it wasn't normal for a person to lock himself in the dormitory and just play guitar constantly, days and nights. After their break-up Blaine had stopped eating and drank only coffee. From time to time he felt stabbing pains in his stomache, but in his mind those were only his punishment. The Warblers lead singer had been shattered to pieces after Kurt had found someone else and lost the boy for forever.

_Why don't you give me some love_

_I've taken shit loads of drugs_

_I'm so tired of never fixing the pain_

_Valium said to me, I'll take you seriously_

_And we'll come back as someone else_

_who's better than yourself_

The last attempt of getting Kurt back had ended up disaster. He still could remember it, the pained expression as Kurt's hand slapped against his cheek. Blaine had tried to erase his pains by taking his roommates meds and rushed out, searching for Kurt. Voice in his head had told Blaine if he reasoned with Kurt well enough, he would became his boyfriend. When he had found the younger boy, he had pushed him against the wall, demanding why Kurt didn't love him and even worse, he had kissed him with force. He had done exactly the same as Kurt's worse nightmare, Karofsky. Blaine could feel the pain crushing his chest once again and he reached for the drawer next to his bed, grabbing a bag full of white pills.

_Many faces at the doorway - all hiding round_

_Watch me fighting in the hallway but make no sound_

_So I'm standing all alone and I'm only skin and bone now_

_So many faces, but they all look out for their own_

David and Wes were watching from the doorway with silence. They had tried talking with their friend, but the boy refused to listen. He just continued playing his guitar and singing. Blaine seemed to get worse day by day, black bags under his eyes and bones sticking out. Both of the boys could remember how Blaine had been when he first came to Dalton. He had been shivering with fear, every fibre waiting for the next fist against his face, but the boy had healed and calmed. And right when they had thought Blaine had gotten over everything, this had happened. As the boys watched, Blaine stood up, throwing some of those pills down his throat and emptied the glass on his night-table. He glanced towards the doorway, eyes hollow and walking past his two best friends, not giving them a second look. Tears were falling down his cheeks again, but he didn't care. There was nothing in this world for him.

_Why don't you give me some love_

_I've taken shit loads of drugs_

_I'm so tired of never fixing the pain_

_Valium said to me, I'll take you seriously_

_And we'll come back as someone else_

_who's better than yourself today_

Blaine was still singing, his voice far from the usual happy and melodical sound. It was raw, coarse and desperate, just like he felt. His mind was racing again, no matter what he tried, the pain wouldn't go away. He just wanted to wrap his arms around Kurt and make everything better. He could change. He could become a better man, someone who could take care of Kurt and keep him safe. The counter-tenor had always been the smarter of them, he had admitted his feelings first and Blaine had just ignored them and taken them as a small school-boy crush. If he would ever get a second chance, he wouldn't doubt Kurt's words and feelings. So why didn't Kurt give him a second chance?

_And someday soon they'll drop the bomb _

_and let it all out someday_

_I know that some day soon we'll all be gone so_

_let it all out, let it all out today_

Somewhere in his heart Blaine knew he couldn't avoid going to classes forever. He would lose his scholarship if he continued living like this, but he just didn't care. Dalton had become a prison for him, everything reminding him of Kurt and their happy days together. This would all end soon and Blaine wanted to remember as little as possible from it. He walked the hallway, stumbling to his own feet once. Students walked past him, giving him glares. He must have looked pathetic, an ex-golden boy of the school, fallen from the grace.

Blaine was still laying on the floor when Kurt of all people walked towards his dorm-room. He noticed someone laying in the floor and was shocked when he recognized his friend...or maybe ex-friend. Of course he had heard rumours about Blaine's weird behaviour and class-ditching, but he hadn't really cared to hear about the boy after his latest stunt. Somewhere in his chest Kurt felt a light stab, worry washing through him, but it was overcome by the despise. Blaine of all people should have known better than kiss him by force. And to think Kurt had loved him. He could hear Blaine was muttering something when he walked past the fallen boy, but didn't give him another look. He just couldn't forgive him yet.

_And give me some love_

_Yeah, give me some love,_

_Come give me some love today_

_

* * *

_Every time my own life starts to fall to pieces, I listen to James Blunt...which makes me want to write. And it always helps own pain to think of others in pain. (I still love Kurt and Blaine and wish them all the best in the world.)

This is the second fic where Blaine is using drugs... Blame it on the BIOTA-episode and Mr. Blunt's lyrics... (and somehow I can't imagine Kurt using drugs/alcohol) But remember, narcotics are BAD. Don't use them. _  
_


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